Tokens of Love

My dear friend Vanessa sent me these quotes- what a gift they bring, particularly in times when we are cold! Lots of Love Vanessa - thanks for these - are truest gifts!

" You are Hannah, a lover of life, a strength to those who shared in your
friendships. You are a dream, a creator of happiness, an artist who has
touched a thousand souls. You've led a full life and wanted for nothing
because your needs are spiritual and you have only to look inside you. You
are kind and loyal, and you are able to see beauty where others do not. You
are a teacher of wonderful lessons, a dreamer of better things."

He contineus by quoting a Walt Whitman poem:

Nothing is ever really lost, or can be lost,
No birth, identity, form -no object of the world,
Nor life, nor force, nor any visible thing;...
The body, sluggish, aged, cold - the embers left
from earlier fires, ...shall duly flame again;



"...And I learned what is obvious to a child. That life is simply a
collection of little lives, each one lived ond day at a time. That each day
should be spent finding beauty in flowers and poetry and talking to animals.
That a day spend with dreaming and sunsets and refreshing breezes cannot
be bettered. "

Truth be Told

I've started this letter countless times in my mind.
Always second guessing and rather waiting, a better time?

Tonight I watched a movie that stirred me so deep,
it made me wonder how long, a secret I keep.

So tonight, why not share some feelings within,
offer some little nugget of this search I begin.

Maybe for just me, these writings I muse
offer a glimmer of truth, something to use?

You are one of my greatest teachers, an unlikely match,
two different worlds, a few visits is all that we catch.

Complicated by circumstance, and yet a shared dream,
we march in unison, but both cautious, it seems.

In this world today, we remain within the lines,
not too much risk, be careful of speaking your mind.

Maybe an ideal thought, I hold in my head,
dramatic imagery conjured up, for hope I am not dead.

Maybe projected onto thee this friendship I hold,
rather always unsure if it has a reciprical pull?

Complicated by so much and probably misunderstood,
we all search for those persons whom know our deepest good.

I yearn for this endearement, someone to share my life,
not of traditional design, not a man, nor a wife.

We have many friendships that enter our lives over time,
but just a few sacred souls that seem to have space in our minds.

I am just coming to learn that the mind does not win,
it is the heart that determines our most sacred kin.

Please let me walk with you, please let me be there,
my request to be present, is not intended to scare.

I see you for something that maybe you see,
I trust in this journey and am open to whatever may be.

I am strong on my own, I have no doubts about that
why so desperate to be seen, it seems, such a load of crap?

The truth is what I seek and so endlessly I dig,
I often wonder if my curiosities bring forth something big?

The value I offer, well God only knows,
but sincerity, hope, perserverance, it shows.

The point of these reflections are intended for this,
I am asking for you my dear friend
to prod, to poke, to stand with me
as a sacred witness.

 

 

Speeding Up - Slowing Down

Wow, here we are December 21st, with just days before Christmas, and the giant marketing question of all- Are you Ready? (Don't you love how the commercial world has simply re-engineered Christmas!)

I am sitting in the den, wathcing the last flickers of a fire and enjoying the soft lights of the Christmas tree and burning candles. All is quiet in the Doss household, the cat is asleep on the arm of the chair, dogs all cuddled with the kids. even Chris is fast asleep on the couch. (an unusual event - I might add)

Tonight we officiallly begin the holidays.

Now I imagine this is "exactly" what a holiday should look like, quiet, unhurried reflective time to settle in and just "be". It is interesting to rather stand back and watch yourself adjust to a new schedule, in fact in some ways - fight a new schedule. I always have this tug of war - almighty battle to rather disconnect and reconnect to the world other than my work, and unrelated to school/schedules and rather daily life on the whole. Whatever are we really going to do over the holidays? Should'nt we be planning or something?

This has been a ridiculously hurried month at work - one for which almost distracts you from realizing you have actually had a good performance this year and should be in celebration of what you have accomplished. Instead, you simply plug from one immediate effort to the next, with the hope you will truly capture whatever it was that you needed to learn and carry forth. Somehow I hope that in my "slowing" I will find the time to tuck in the reflections of the year and well - simply rejoice in all of our good fortunes.

I am proud to say the X-mas cards are done, ok not really x-mas cards - more like - must get there before the New Year cards! This year we forewent the form letter approach and well - not much of a note really! But I reminded myself - it is not about the content of the note, the length of the note, but simply that you had this person in your thoughts - how sweet right!

The kids gifts - done, the house decorated - done, cookie making parties for the kids - done, the handmade gifts for each sibling - well lets just say they will be the earliest X-mas gifts for 2006! :)

This year we are all on our own - no out of town guest, no travels (although I do realize this blog was intended to capture travel reflections - how is this - still to come!)

On a good day - I think yeah - no added responsibilities - on a bad day - I am saddened to not have the doorbell ring with folks that have known you all your life, smells of a large meal cooking, lots of chatter, and a wide array of fun cocktails special to the season. Oh Grasshoppers - dad makes the best!

I wonder are these days simply over forever? When you have a family of your own, maybe everyone experiences this sense of no man's land in the midst of old traditions and the creation of new ones. I love discovering those unspoken adventures of learning that no one ever seems to tell you about - yet everyone seems to experience. Wow - I am sure there are loads of books out there on just that topic alone - things no one ever really explained........

Tomorrow we will go ice skating and I see a day in the mountains on Friday! I get to choose how to experience this holiday (as pretty much most experiences in my life) and I hope that I am able fully let go of one facet of my life so I may embrace the other!

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow

A beautiful day here in Seattle, "snow" made a surprise visit, just enough to mesmorize you in every window, but not enough to slow you down! Perfect - here today - gone tomorrow!

Needless to say, with the first flakes falling, my inclination is to pour some hot chocolate, put on some fleece (actually already wearing fleece - so this probably does not count), light a warm crackling fire and lay happily in a cozy chair reading my favorite book! Oh.... to have such a romantic view of weather! Instead, with a full foot in and full foot out - did the dance of concentration, work hard, focus, at the office and in contrast, relax, play, and reflect. Gotta love the mixture!

This afternoon, with full predictability I might add, the kids flew home from the bus stop, proceeded to jump into the ski bibs, snow boots, gloves and jackets and headed for the front yard. Oh, if only the yard was ever so beckoning on a regular basis?

2 snowman later (with the likeness of each child of course), gloves soaked, the yard cleaned of any reminent of snow (did I say we only had about 4in or so?) we all enjoyed some winter fun!

Overall, a great day had by all and I am sure tomorrow brings a whole new adventure - particularly one frought with everything not achieved today - but when it snows - well - it just snows!

Enjoy your hot chocolate!

Swakomund, Namibia