Speeding Up - Slowing Down

Wow, here we are December 21st, with just days before Christmas, and the giant marketing question of all- Are you Ready? (Don't you love how the commercial world has simply re-engineered Christmas!)

I am sitting in the den, wathcing the last flickers of a fire and enjoying the soft lights of the Christmas tree and burning candles. All is quiet in the Doss household, the cat is asleep on the arm of the chair, dogs all cuddled with the kids. even Chris is fast asleep on the couch. (an unusual event - I might add)

Tonight we officiallly begin the holidays.

Now I imagine this is "exactly" what a holiday should look like, quiet, unhurried reflective time to settle in and just "be". It is interesting to rather stand back and watch yourself adjust to a new schedule, in fact in some ways - fight a new schedule. I always have this tug of war - almighty battle to rather disconnect and reconnect to the world other than my work, and unrelated to school/schedules and rather daily life on the whole. Whatever are we really going to do over the holidays? Should'nt we be planning or something?

This has been a ridiculously hurried month at work - one for which almost distracts you from realizing you have actually had a good performance this year and should be in celebration of what you have accomplished. Instead, you simply plug from one immediate effort to the next, with the hope you will truly capture whatever it was that you needed to learn and carry forth. Somehow I hope that in my "slowing" I will find the time to tuck in the reflections of the year and well - simply rejoice in all of our good fortunes.

I am proud to say the X-mas cards are done, ok not really x-mas cards - more like - must get there before the New Year cards! This year we forewent the form letter approach and well - not much of a note really! But I reminded myself - it is not about the content of the note, the length of the note, but simply that you had this person in your thoughts - how sweet right!

The kids gifts - done, the house decorated - done, cookie making parties for the kids - done, the handmade gifts for each sibling - well lets just say they will be the earliest X-mas gifts for 2006! :)

This year we are all on our own - no out of town guest, no travels (although I do realize this blog was intended to capture travel reflections - how is this - still to come!)

On a good day - I think yeah - no added responsibilities - on a bad day - I am saddened to not have the doorbell ring with folks that have known you all your life, smells of a large meal cooking, lots of chatter, and a wide array of fun cocktails special to the season. Oh Grasshoppers - dad makes the best!

I wonder are these days simply over forever? When you have a family of your own, maybe everyone experiences this sense of no man's land in the midst of old traditions and the creation of new ones. I love discovering those unspoken adventures of learning that no one ever seems to tell you about - yet everyone seems to experience. Wow - I am sure there are loads of books out there on just that topic alone - things no one ever really explained........

Tomorrow we will go ice skating and I see a day in the mountains on Friday! I get to choose how to experience this holiday (as pretty much most experiences in my life) and I hope that I am able fully let go of one facet of my life so I may embrace the other!